Humorous Fishing Experiences
On The Way To The Water, and On The Water
Introduction: The following stories are 'strictly from Brooklyn.' The language is basically what a person would hear from any frustrated fisherman, who has encountered an unusual situation requiring special action! I have attempted to make it humorous to the average person, so don't take offense if the color is not to your liking ... something else, there are several references about different ways of relieving one's self. Let's be honest, going to the bathroom is always a big problem when you're at, or near the lake! I was on my 2nd boat before I learned to carry a roll of toilet paper.
If you want to share some of your fishing experiences, send them to me by E-mail, and if you don't mind, I'll show them on this page. Pictures? ... Send them too!
1. My first boat ... this was an old 15' runabout, you know, like the ones you see around any boat dock - some poor fisherman pulling on the rope starter until he's in a major sweat - the motor refusing to start, because he probably forgot to hook-up the fuel line to the engine, or he didn't pump the bulb enough times. Maybe the bulb is even connected backwards!
I had been on this lake (Calaveras Lake, near San Antonio) several times with this boat, and had one hell-of-a-time starting it on each trip (the boat shop just couldn't get it fixed right). I learned something new each time I went fishing. The latest procedure I had perfected was a one-man launch procedure. You back the boat far enough into the water so that the water intake is submerged, climb into the boat, start the engine (this step is to make sure the engine starts before you go to all the trouble of putting it in the water for nothing, which I had already done a couple of times), and then back the trailer into the water a little further so that it will float free of the trailer, and then all you have to do is get onto the trailer and hold onto the rope that is connected to the bow-eye. So far, this sounds pretty simple ... hold onto the rope (long one) and walk over to the dock, tie it up, and go park the truck. Well, I did it ... backed into the water, started the engine, backed it in a little further, and it floated right off the trailer! It was drifting towards the dock - I ran over to the dock, and contemplated jumping for it! It drifted just beyond reach, for the whole length of the dock ... I couldn't swim 3 feet if I had to, and am quite afraid of water, so I didn't jump - the boat drifted on, and on, and on. It made it out to a nice fishing spot, about 300' just outside of the cove I was standing in. It was idling perfectly that morning. It wasn't catching any fish, or drinking any of the coffee, so I had to get out there some way! Problem was, it was about 4:00 A.M., and I was the first one to hit the ramp that morning. I stood around the dock for about a day or two, and then another boat finally showed up. He asked how I was doing. "Not too bad." I said. "How about a ride out to the middle of the lake so I can get my boat?" This was quite a situation, and helped me to perfect the one-man launch procedure a little bit more.
2. I just finished a fair day's fishing on Calaveras Lake (maybe this Lake and I weren't made for each other). I'm in the 15' runabout, heading into the docking cove ... just as I am the right distance from the dock, I disconnect the fuel line from the engine, so that the excess fuel will burn out of the engine just before I get there, and I won't have to sit at the dock running the fuel out of the engine! This was taught to me by the same guy that helped me select this piece of &^$# boat! Guess what ... as the fuel burned out, and the engine died, it became apparent that I was moving way too fast! As I started cursing myself, the bow of the boat slid (a fast slide) underneath the dock, neatly tearing the bowlight from the boat.
3. Same boat - different fiasco. Was fishing off the dam (Calaveras Lake, naturally), anchored-up about 30' from the rocks (couldn't afford a trolling motor). Hey, the wind was really picking-up, so I thought I better 'get out of Dodge'. I pulled the anchor in smartly (a coffee can filled with concrete, and two pieces of pipe cross-wise, to help dig into the mud). I had two or three lines in the water, with minnows on them, but figured they would be okay until I got moving. I hit the key starter real quick, but got that familiar sound out the engine saying, "You want to what?" My second plan of attack was to start grabbing some rope on the rope starter. After about 10 pulls I was ready to pass-out! Here come the rocks! The waves had picked-up pretty good by now (total time of about 60 seconds had passed!). Just before the bow swung around and hit the rocks, I was on the oar, pushing with all my might. After frantically pushing, oaring, and pulling the rope ( in that order) for about 6 repitions, the engine finally caught, and I was able to idle out away from the dam, reel in the frightened minnows, and head for a cove out of the wind!
4. After I'd had the 15' runabout for a few months, I decided I need a fishing chair. I bought a pedestal, and a fold-down fishing seat from the local dealer (I ended up working there for a couple of years, eventually). This boat had an enclosed bow, so I mounted the pedestal on the bow, near the front, and when I was ready to fish, I'd plug the seat on top of it. This was 1977, and there were not a lot of fancy accessories around at that time. The pedestal look like crap, but it put me near the water, like the guys in the fancy Terry bassboats. I always draped a 10' rope over the side of the bow, in case I fell overboard. On one occasion, a large snake, about 12" in diameter (probably 3") poked his head over the gunnel, and I put a 'Lash-La-Rue' on him with my $10 rod. I smacked him pretty hard, cause he never came back. This snake experience will come back to haunt me about 10 years later, at Canyon Lake, when a 10 - 15' monster crawled onto the rear platform of my 18' bassboat, #3. His head was on one side of the platform, and his tail was still hanging over the other side. The boat was over 90" wide, so this was a big snake. I had been swating at him with a spinner-bait, until he decided to come aboard! I was at the ready .. I was going to wail the hell out of him if he came towards the front platform! "Hey, dummy." I said to myself. "You can't swim, and what if he makes it this far - what are you going to do?" I finally came to the decision that I was going to walk across the 25' deep water, just as fst as I could. I sure as hell wasn't going to risk a snake bite, and the trolling motor wouldn't have got me there fast enough! Luckily enough, he looked-up at me, and decided that I wasn't worth the trouble - he slithered off the platform, into the water, and I cranked-up the trolling motor and got the hell out of there! From that day on, I never bothered to swat at passing snakes!